Sundee Sundee Sundee (The Day I will be seeing you bose)

I am a hollow shell of the man I was on Friday leaving work.

Fellow Employee: "Happy Friday!"
CM: "It's already Monday..."
Fellow Employee: tear

So, I guess I should start with Clemson. Eff You Clemson. You got my hopes up and brought me back down to earth in the course of three hours. During the first drive, I was booking my plane tickets to Jax, but you toyed with me so. Sacking the es out of Matt Ryan, who is in fact KJ's (KJ Ryan is my college roommate) cousin who pees the bed if he has too many Pepsi’s):



So, the ultimate db beat the ultimate BF (Bowden Failure). Now Tiger Fans have The Gamecocks to look forward too. With a name like "Gamecock," you would think that making fun of them would be quite easy. If I called somebody a Gamecock, they would probably offer me a sandwich. A knuckle sandwich that is. I almost feel like I should write GC instead of Gamecock for our younger readers. Seriously bose, WTF is a gamecock? A rooster that fights? According to Wikipedia "A gamecock is a strong, colorful, and territorial type of rooster, or fowl, bred for cockfighting." I wish the symbol that encompassed my own institution of higher learning was bred for cockfighting also. You don't see enough cock fights these days, what’s that? Oh, cockfighting is illegal in 47 states? Wow. Where is it legal? New Mexico, Louisiana, and Oklahoma? Well done Local Governments!

Ah, but I digress. So, Tiger Fans, are you ready for Click Clack? This shirt sure is. What the ef is this BS? "Choke: The official drink of South Carolina Football." I mean they call themselves "The Cocks" and you come up with some lame rhyme joke? How about this shirt I just made up in my head (Sir Awesome is just that good): . "Cocks: Thats what you guys are." I think my shirt is much more poignant. Besides, the other shirt isn't even accurate because everyone knows that the official drink of South Carolina football is Cheerwine.


No sir, they sure don't sound like they are from Charlotte. For all you "Yankees" who have never had the pleasure of enjoying Cheerwine, it isn't some drink that predators bring to intoxicate there potential victims...

Chris Hansen: "I see you brought some, Cheer Wine? What is that, a wine made for kids like those flavored camel cigarettes? What do you have planned here?"
Predator: "Nah bo, it aint like that. You wouldn't understand, it’s a Carolina thing."
Chris Hansen: "Are these nude photos you sent this young girl a Carolina thing also? My name is Chris Hansen, and we're doing a show about people who try to have relations with minors."
Predator: "Now wait just a second here. She said she was fourteen."
Chris Hansen: "That's correct."
Predator: "Well you must not be familiar with the Constitution of South Carolina. Most notably section 33."

SC CONSTITUTION SECTION 33. Age of consent. -- No unmarried woman shall legally consent to sexual intercourse who shall not have attained the age of fourteen years. (1999 Act No. 3, Section 1, eff February 16, 1999)


Again, I digress. Many apologies. Cheerwine is drink found almost exclusively in the south. It tastes sort of like carbonated cough medicine, and the brilliant sales people behind the pitiful punch, have eliminated the north east as a potential soda drinking demographic.

Ok, so Clemson lost. Cullen, you are not the man now dog. Nor are you a swan that should be feared as daddy Harper said.

Next topic. The Ravens. I must admit, despite the loss, 2nd half Kyle Boller wasn't half bad. He was no super hero out there but he certainly played much better then Air Mac, the anti-hero. Maybe we should pick up McNabb in two years and McNair and McNabb can open a restaurant called McNo Gouda.

Woe is me, the Ravens just got swept by the Cleveland Browns. I wondered why the Browns think of themselves as Dogs. Again, i called onWikipedia, who advised that a

"fan contest was conducted to determine the name of the team, with the most popular choice being "Panthers." However, Brown objected to the name after finding out it had been used by a semipro team in the city—one that had a reputation as a chronic loser. This prompted a second contest to choose a name befitting a champion.[1] The Browns say this contest yielded the nickname "Brown Bombers"—after reigning heavyweight champion Joe Louis—and was shortened to "Browns" for the convenience of headline writers. However, to this day, rumors persist that the team was named after Paul Brown himself."

So, no reference to dogs there. In fact the same Wikipedia article also advised that for a time, the Browns were represented by "Brownie the Elf." So, instead of "The Dog Pound" I suppose that Browns fans should be in "Santa's Work Shop."

So, we have the chargers next, and its funny because Phil drop the (ip) Rivers reminds me of an elf. More specifically Herbie the elf who wants to be a dentist in "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer." The Chargers just lost to Jax, and the fans are wondering, why did we fire a coach who had us at 14-2? I really hope we beat these DB's and that LT throws some touchdown passes to AG. (Fantasy points bose). The good thing is, I will be in Costa Rica when the Patriots D up the (Insert Crappy NFC Team Here) in the Superbowl this year. Go 2008 Ravens. Can we start trading up now to get Tebow in the 2009 draft?

Seriously folks, 20 rushing teeds and 26 passing teeds and people are like, "Matt Ryan, is Heisman candidate" or "That Chase Daniel is something else." ESPN even lists Dennis Dixon as the Heisman front runner at the time this entry "went to press." DOUBLE EWE TEE EFF. If the Heisman was given in the NFL these dolts would probably say “I like that Tony Romo Fellow, with Matt Hasselbeck a close second and Tom Brady bringing up the rear in third.” Now I know TT wears Jorts but he effing awesome. He is going to D up the SEC next year. Fortunately for another College roommate Doug "The Natural Disaster" Flood, I think the Gators have another championship in them...or two...





On a side note, I also learned that "Choke" is the official drink of FSU Football. More evidence that Cheerwine and not "Choke" is the official drink of South Carolina Football. When I wrote to the T shirt people for a comment in regard to their fact checking, the T-Shirt people sent me back this shirt:







I would like to leave you with this commercial that I see about 13 times during any given television watching session for the Hybrid Ford Escape.

I think the commercial should have played out like this:
Dad: "This is a Hybrid."
Daughter: "It is?"
Dad: "How old are you again?"
Daughter: "13."
Dad: "And you haven't noticed the word "Hybrid" all over the car?"
Daughter: "No, I guess I haven't."
Dad: defeated sigh


I'ts already Monday Bose...