This League is So Now: ESPN

I was thinking about the Plight ofthe raves, and I think that Ray Lewis should come out to the sweet sounds of The APP instead of Phil collines:

Holy heck! ESPN is ruining my life. I turned on “College Football Live” To hear about my main man Cullen Harper. Instead, the Defensive Backs at ESPN are dedicating about three hours to Barry Bonds and Alex Rodriguez, two people that I couldn’t care less about. Behind the music KNOTB would be more intriguing then this drivel.

In regard to Bonds: Why the F are these guys so shocked that Barry Bonds took steroids? Have they been living in a hole for the

past four years? No, they have been living in ESPN where they talk about BB more the Giuliani talks about 9/11 (whoa…political banter…watch out). Seriously though, who gives a flock? This would be like if Rolling Stone the magazine dedicated an entire issue to Keith Richards being indicted for excessive substance abuse.

In regard to the Rod: This is no news. So he gets paid a lot of money. The CEO of Goldman Sachs just took home 75 Million bucks, as a bonus, for one year. This was nothing but a footnote in a wall street journal article.

I suppose a better example is Stan O’Neal from Merrill who walked with 161 Million, after being fired, since A-Rod is never going to win the Series. The point is, why do we have to talk about these two non-issues when CFB is at the peak of awesomeness?

Ok, I got that off my chest. ESPN has a temporary stay from my list of Defensive Backs because of the afore mentioned article about Cullen Harper. My favorite part is when Cullen’s Dad Jeff said that Cullen is “like a swan going across a lake. He looks beautiful, but don't push him too hard, because he'll come back at you." Who knew that Jeff Harper is a master of simile? The part of the article I hated was when the write captioned a photo saying that “Matt Ryan get [sic] all the pub, but Cullen Harper is putting up equally impressive stats.” Equally impressive? He has excessively superior stats bose. One third of the INT’s, a better passer rating, a better completion percentage, etc. That’s like saying, hey CM, I heard you saw “The Departed” and “Crossroads Featuring Britney Spears”

what did you think of the two? “Equally Impressive.”
I already know that the ES-PEN DB’s are going harp on Matt Ryan (Harp-Pun) and how good he is and how he came out of nowhere and how he gets good grades and how on Tuesdays he and his roommate eat a Boston Market because they like chicken, and isn’t Ironicthat they go to BC and eat at BM, and I will be yelling at the TV “That’s not Ironic, do you know what Ironic means?” Then they will continue on the incorrect aside. “Well its really not Ironic because BM started in Boston…” At some pint Matt Ryan will make an average skilled pass on a roll out to an open receiver due to some blown coverage and they will say “Are You Kidding Me?”

Even though all of that will transpire, I will be glued to the TV. They will show Tillman Hall: