Fake Lou Holtz

Thanks to Ethan "didn't know you like to get wet" Hawke for alerting me to the Hilariousness of this video:

"Has a Cement Pond in the back yard."



Didn't know you like to get wet bo:

A Few thoughts On the Day

Kansas City 30, San Diego 16:

Phil "Drop the ip" Rivers is a Crow Job. (def Crow Job: Crow Job, slang for Bird Boy; (def Bird Boy: BB, Baby Bitch.)) Who drank the Kool Aid? All you Mel Kiper Jr. deciples are eating crow right now. Sir Awesome warned you not to listen to the hype. What? Whats That Norv Turner Chargers Head Coach? "Suit up Charlie! Not only are you more attractive then Phil(ip), your from Clemson, Bo. Did I pronounce bo correctly bo?"

I Feel for you San Diego, which is German for...

Here is a video which should express your love For CW:




Lock Of the Day = Failure

You all saw my Lock and I'm sorry to say it wasn't a lock after all. I made a fatal flaw in betting with Ben Roethlisberger. Despite my consistent platform of point out his flaws (football and in beard choice) I went with a Pittsburgh Victory because Lienart is (Quiche eating Surfer) more terrible then Roeth. But as Cool Ethan "Sir Awesome is always wrong" Haire will tell you from his law school experience...two negatives do not equal a positive.

Cool Ethan:


Law School:



Baltimore Ravens:

Unfortunately, the Baltimore Ravens suffered a devestating Loss today. Hold your heads up hig fellow Baltimorons. Don't D out like the D on the elevator with me today after the game who took his Jersey off revealing a Hollister Surf shirt. "I'm embaresed he said." We were on the 7th floor and I hit 6. "I'll walk fro here bo," I said grinning at his GF. She looked at me, then looked at him in disgust. "Johhny," she shrieked. "Your not a real fan." She stepped out of elavator and looked me straight in the eye and asked, "will you be my new boyfriend?" "Sorry mama," I said as the elevator doors shut taking the Bird Boy back to his Canton Castle, "I'm spoken for." "Well can I least get a ride home," she pleaded. "As long as you don't mind riding on the back of my chopper."

I don't have time for exposed brick, stainless steel appliances, roof top decks, Boh Knows Football or Greene (sic) Turtles. The Party is over, it's time to get hard nose about being a Ravens fan. Just Like these o's fans:

Con Mans Lock of the Week

After getting totally D'ed yesterday on "Upset" Saturday, its time to make up my losses to pay for my exceedingly lavish lifestyle. By the way, thanks to Clemson for ending my college season prematurely. Doug "The Natural Disaster" Flood had it so much worse yesterday though. One of his Roomates is probably at the Clifton Police department right now filing Battery and destruction of Property Charges

Don't Piss this guy off


Anyway, through a solid investment strategy, I will be able to buy the finsishing touches for the Weight Toom in my basement...anabolic steroids.

Lock of the week Bo's:

Blatant Racism Strikes Again...

Now Cut to Bill O'reilly, Racist Bag of crap.

Dancin Lou Holtz

I am watching the Florida Auburn game and they are talking about Notre F-ing Dame. Holy Monkey balls. I think Notre Dame owns ESPN. I think Notre Dame pays for product placement. I think Notre Dame married the Hamburgurlars sister. When they started dating the Hamburgurlar was like "My sisters new boyfriend is kind of a douche." Then after the wedding, the Hamburgurlar is like fine...they hangout at Bar-B-Ques and talk about various HBO television programs...


LH is my hero



Gotta Love Lou...PS, this dancing scenario going be a "Busted Tee," in about 17 seconds, just like the UF Tazer Incident:

Pay for my Groceries Saturday is here again...

The Herlihy Boy

Bleak Future

I think you all should play this little video to yourselves every day when you wake up each day,so you don't get your hopes up:




Even if Michigan had beaten Oregon, it would have been the high point in their lives. According to Lou, in 20 years they are going to lose their jobs, houses, cars and wives all in one day...the wheels come off with about 20 seconds left.

Original Video in Full:

Mike Patrick

Did anybody else watch the Georgia Bama game on Saturday night? Merely seconds before Georgia scored the game winning touchdown Mike Patrick tried his hand at ad-lib comedy. He alluded to Britney Spears'recent downfall. You have to love Todd Blackledge though, fresh off of one of his Corronary Corners where he devours the most cholesterol ridden bag of fat each University has to offer.

He totally lets Patrick Flounder. He says "What?" "Why do we care?" It reminded me of the mid 90's cut-down (insults were called "cut-downs" in the mid 90's, Hypercolor jackets were cool, slap bracelets were like crack - get a history book a-hole)"ask me if I care?"

Blackledge, never gives high fives I bet. What a lone ranger. High Ho Silver ladies, all my boys are lying to you about their professions, salaries and or college sports career. But seriously, Mike Patrick is pretty m-effing crazy at this point.

Click Clack

I thought everyone had seen this commercial, but today during some casual conversation I found out that the Kahn Mahn had not. I think my favorite part is when spurrier says Yeah...Click clack."

Since we cannot hear the other end of the commercial convo, perhaps this is how it went.

SS: Hello
UA: Hi, this is Eric, from Under Armor. May I please speak to Steve?
SS: This is the Head Ball coach.
UA: Oh, I thought that was just a nickname, I didn't know you actually refered to yourself in that regard. Anyway Will Phillips and I ran a race today during lunch.
SS: He ran a what?
UA: A race...unfortunately he beat me.
SS: I told you he could really go
UA: Yeah, you sure did. Well, lets end the conversation within the Realm of the Under Armor Code of conduct, Section 2b: Appropriate Greetings and goodbyes, Click-Clack.
SS: Yeah...click-clack

HP Dance

Aunt Connie, how do you feel about the early season performance of James Davis and CJ spiller aka Thunder and lightning? Aunt Connie: Please cut to harry potter dancing:

Mr. T Bro

Yesterday, the defending National Champion Gators had their hands full thith Ole Miss. However there is always the x-factor, thats right...none other then Doug Floods Fantasy, Timothy Tebow.

With 166 Rushing yards and 2 rushing TEED's, he can run!



With 261 yards passing and 2 more passing TEED's, we know he can pass...



Is TT the Truth?

Keith Jackson, take us home please...


Hellllllo Heisman

Insult To Injury

CFL game - Kirwan Bell spikes the ball, hits himself in the Terry Bradshaws and gets decked to the ground...

Speaking Of Women Lead Singers...

Anybody else addicted to this video besides Ethan?
Ethan: Dude, I have to tell you a secret about my casual listening selections.
Blair: No worries Dude, I am an iron safe full of secrets.
Ethan: Dude, I like Feist
Blair: Dude, that isn't a really big secret. Everything apple sells is like crack.
Ethan: Thanks for reassuring me dude.
Blair: No problem dude. Lets go lift weights.

Bjork: Litter Bug

I often listen to this song on the card ride to work. It really pumps me up to Analyze Trade Confirmations. Then, I began listening to the words and I realized Bjork is throwing cuttlery of an Icelandic Mountain.

Hyperballad Lyrics:

We live on a mountain
Right at the top
There's a beautiful view
From the top of the mountain
Every morning I walk towards the edge
And throw little things off
Like:
Car parts, bottles and cutlery
Or whatever I find lying around




Note - The Crying Native American is not really a native american:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_Eyes_Cody

How does greg oden roll?




With a bed in his living room...

Connie is psyched about his Patriots -4 pick right now. This pick could pay for his beach getaway...pats are up 14-0. Rivers is Picked on his first throw.

Randy Moss and the Patriots, video tape or no video tape look sick...Phillip Rivers, (Ethan's Idol) looks like a Douche...

Which is the best aggressive Bike dance coordination scene:

Rad:



Quicksilver:


Bonus feature...My ultimate favorite in Extreme sports choreography:


Gleaming the Cube:

JO

1 MORE YEAR, 1 MORE YEAR, 1 MORE YEAR